Yes I know it was never about the car. But how could we cruise around with 300 brake-horsepower under the bonnet when poor people were starving and going to hell? Nothing like a guilt trip for getting young people to do the right thing.

As the new season of Top Gear is starting tomorrow, I thought I would spend some time pondering the theological question that left Augustine and Luther stumped: what would Jesus drive? We picture Jesus in sandals but that’s what you walked in back then. Now, of course, He would drive, just like everybody else. But what would He drive?

I’d really like to own a Bugatti Veyron, but I doubt Jesus would have the same need for speed. I just don’t imagine Him ever being in a hurry. Neither can I imagine Him driving a Volvo. Would anyone drive a Volvo if they had a choice? How about a Combivan? Maybe if He had returned to California in the 1970s but not now.

I’ve spent some time thinking about this deep theological issue and have come up with 6 suggestions.

Anyone who’s lived in Hong Kong will instinctively appreciate the value of a 16 seat Toyota Coaster for moving a small group of disciples around. Plus the Hong Kong versions run on LPG. On a per person basis they’re probably the most environmentally vehicle on the planet.

The Hyundai Genesis is apparently the world’s most awarded card and you want to see Jesus driving the very best right? That 4.6l V8 engine is just the ticket for getting away to quiet places in style and, hey, it’s named after a book in the Bible.

If you want a car for all nations the Shelby Cobra could be perfect. It’s thoroughly British in origin but was improved upon by Ford. Europeans love it. Americans love it. And because of its brand name and ridiculous price tag, Asians love it too. The power to weight ratio is off the scale and why that should matter to Jesus… I have no idea.

The world of today is far more urban than when Jesus walked the Roman roads. He’d want a city car and there’s none better than the new Fiat 500. It’s cheaper than both a Beetle and a Mini and easier to park

But then who cares about parking when you have a Monster Truck? Wouldn’t you love to see Jesus ride one of these puppies over the limos and Lear jets of some TV evangelists? He’s not going to be preaching on mounts or lakes – that’s so first century – but in stadiums, and what better way to make an entrance than in something called The Grave Robber or Rockosaurus.

But then maybe Jesus wouldn’t drive anything. Maybe He’d just take the bus to set a good example and to maximize His time with the poor and car-less.

What do you think?
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