What do you say to the parents of a Christian teenager who has just killed himself? I faced this situation several years ago and, I have tell you, it’s not easy. Premature death is hard to handle at any time but suicide leaves loved ones bewildered at its senselessness.
It seems the subject of suicide is one of those sensitive issues that Christians don’t like to talk about. That’s probably because most of us don’t have anything good to say! Ask any believer, “What happens to Christians who kill themselves?” and you’ll likely get one of the following responses:
1. They go to hell because they never repented for the sin of murder.
2. It’s not up to us to judge – we don’t know what happens.
3. It’s a grave sin but God will somehow take care of it in His mysterious ways.
None of these responses brings much comfort to those who are left behind. But happily none of these responses is true! Let’s compare each response with what the Bible says.
What does the Bible say about those who commit suicide?
First, do people who commit suicide go to hell? Not if they’re saved. Revelations 21:8 tells us that the lake of fire will be full of murderers. But you don’t end up in the lake of fire because you are a murderer (see Rev 20:15). If murder sent you to hell, King David would be a goner. But it doesn’t and he isn’t.
But didn’t God say, “Thou shalt not murder”? He did – it’s the sixth commandment and part of the law. Do you know what the penalty for law-breaking is? Jesus said anyone who breaks the law is in danger of hellfire (Mt 5:22). But his words were directed to those who were born under law – not you (Rm 6:14). When Jesus went to the cross He fulfilled the requirements of the law on your behalf so that you might live free from its curse. Don’t look at your own obedience for salvation; look at His. On the cross Jesus carried the sins of the world and now you are completely and eternally forgiven.
But what about repentance? Don’t we have to repent in order to receive forgiveness? Isn’t this the stumbling block for those who kill themselves – that they never repent? No. We are not forgiven on the basis of anything we do or don’t do. We are forgiven because of what Jesus has done:
In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. (Eph 1:7)
In God’s eyes you are forgiven whether you repent or don’t repent. To say, you must repent to be forgiven, is to cheapen the riches of His grace. The blood of Jesus paid for the sins of the whole world – including the unrepentant and suicidal (1 Jn 2:2). This isn’t to say that the whole world is saved, for we all need to respond to the grace of God by faith (Eph 2:8). Everyone is forgiven but not everyone has received the gift of His righteousness (Rms 1:17). But we are talking here about people who are saved when they die. Can a Christian nullify God’s forgiveness by committing suicide? No – it’s impossible. God’s gifts are irrevocable.
Second, to say, “we don’t know what happens to Christians who kill themselves” merely reveals an ignorance of God’s promises. We do know what happens. They go to be with Jesus (Jn 3:16, 14:3). Some say that “suicide is a grave sin.” Is there any sin that’s not? The good news is that God’s grace is greater than our sin; His best is better than our worst (Rms 5:20). Just as we are not qualified by our good behavior, neither are we disqualified by our bad behavior (see Col 1:12). We were condemned by Adam’s disobedience but now we have been justified through Christ’s obedience:
So then, just as sin ruled by means of death, so also God’s grace rules by means of righteousness, leading us to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Rms 5:21, GNB)
Third, to offer vague comfort by saying, “God will take care of it in some mysterious way,” is to insult the finished work of the cross. Take care of it? He already did! He came and died and rose again that we might have resurrection life:
“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.” (Jhn 11:25)
Look closely at this promise of Jesus and see if you can find any conditions pertaining to the means of death. There are none! The way in which you shrug off your earth-suit has absolutely no bearing on His promise of resurrection life. Whether you die in a house fire, from an over-dose, or go down with the Titanic, Jesus said, He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.
The main thing
For those who are left behind, suicide hits like a Mack truck. But allow me to bring some perspective to this issue. The single most important fact of your life is not where you were born or how you die, but whether you believe in Jesus – whether you have put your trust in Him and confessed Him as Lord. You can be born a prince and die on a field of glory, but unless you know Jesus it’s all for naught. Conversely, you can be born a nobody and die a nobody but if Jesus knows you, all is eternally well! If you have lost someone to suicide and they belonged to Jesus, all is not lost! You will be with them again. Believe what God has promised and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
It is beyond the scope of this post to discuss those things that might drive a believer to suicide. Perhaps you find it inconceivable that someone acquainted with the goodness of God would ever consider ending their lives. But only God knows the depth of pain that some of our brothers and sisters have to endure in this world. The teenager I mentioned at the top of this post took his own life because he was the ongoing victim of a sexual predator and he could see no other way out. Who am I to say that I would’ve chosen differently if I had been in his shoes? I’m not trying to justify suicide. I’m saying I can’t condemn those who, for reasons I cannot fathom, choose death over life.
It’s too late to help that young man but it’s not too late to comfort his parents and those of you who’ve lost loved ones to suicide. Maybe you have heard words of condemnation or hollow comfort. Maybe you’ve been be told that the one you lost is lost for eternity. If so, I encourage you to find rest in the grace of your loving Father and to cultivate the same conviction as Paul:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rms 8:38-9)
___
Related posts:
- What happens to unfruitful branches?
- Is God’s love unconditional?
- Malcolm Smith on the love of God
Comforting words……and true!!
Comment by iluvtheword — July 4, 2011 @ 10:42 am |
Good Job.
Comment by charles — July 4, 2011 @ 10:50 am |
Thank you once again from my heart Paul. You answered many questions regarding this subject. God bless you. xx
By the way, I checked your photos on FB and wow, some lovely sceneries.
Comment by Linde Nicolay — July 4, 2011 @ 11:14 am |
thanks for this post!
Comment by Kurt Heisey — July 4, 2011 @ 1:10 pm |
Thank you Paul, a wonderfully encouraging article on a subject that has been hotly debated over time, in paticular by the leagalist, or should I say the “anti Grace brigade”.
I read an article by someone who remains nameless commenting on Joseph Princes’s two great books and all this pesson can say – ” Prince says we dont have to repent” — he/she says “In 1JN 1:9 Prince says, John is talking to the gnostics” etc and etc.
The anti Grace brigade just dont get it do they?
Yet some of them are Theologians? – the word cheap Grace is tossed about, what about a cheap degree.. ouch, keith stop it. Cheers Paul, keep it up, your website is just awesome. Thank you.
PS 5:12.. IS A WOW
Comment by keith blond — July 4, 2011 @ 9:20 pm |
thanks for posting. i know several that will disagree, but i find in comforting that there are others out there who i can agree with.
Comment by Kat — July 5, 2011 @ 11:22 am |
Brother Paul, I just wanted to share with you about my son, Matthew. On Dec. 29, 1996, he commited suicide. He was 14 yrs. old. I was told by some people that he had gone to hell because of this, but I just want to testify about God’s GOODNESS. Several yrs. before this happened, my, then, pastor’s wife taught about how the same way that the enemy took out people with cancer of the body, he also took out people with cancer of the mind through suicide. Six months before Matthew commited suicide my nephew died of cancer. Holy Spirit brought this message back to my remembrance and HIMSELF assured me that Matthew was HOME!!!!! I could go on with more detail, but this is the bulk of what I want to say.
Thank you for this great message. God will most certainly use it to SILENCE the mouth of the enemy.
Shalom, dear brother!!!!!
Bertha Harmon
Comment by Bertha Harmon — July 5, 2011 @ 7:47 pm |
Thanks for writing Bertha. You are blessed.
Comment by Paul Ellis — July 5, 2011 @ 8:30 pm |
From my opinion, I think Christians who suicide will lose their salvation because:
-They gave up on hope(Jesus)
-They gave up on life(Jesus)
-They lost faith in Jesus
Comment by primologian — July 5, 2011 @ 8:03 pm |
I think today’s Grace Quote is an apt response: “Every Christian I’ve met who believes they can lose their salvation has always given a reason that involves them. What if I commit suicide? What if I get a divorce? What if I stop believing? What if I…? You fill in the blank there, but it’s all the same. Every hypothetical scenario puts ourselves at the center of the equation. But our faithfulness to God is an old-covenant problem that is solved by the new.” ~ Andrew Farley
Comment by Paul Ellis — July 5, 2011 @ 8:31 pm |
Eternal life is life eternal in Christ forever unless he/she was never saved in the first place! Carry on the good work Paul.
Comment by Patrick Hing — July 6, 2011 @ 5:22 am |
This gospel is not for the “tough ones”, the people who can bite their lips, swallow their pain.
A friend of mine, he was a christian before I met Jesus and he played a part in my own salvation story, killed him self by jumping from a building.
He was a gifted drummer, but suffered from fatherlessness – displayed through drugabuse and smoking. That was a reason he could not stay in the worshipteam of his church.(its the church I am a part of, thankful we have grown in the grace of god)
The church counseled him, tried to drive demons out of him but I believe no one really showed him Daddys love.
I was not sure if he made it, but since I grow in grace I am sure he is enjoying to sit on Daddies lap – free at last.
When god chooses not to count our sins against us, I believe suicide is not counted against him as well.
By the way: has anyone ever thought negatively about himself : “I am such a fool?” – According to Jesus, you are guilty of having committed suicide ;) Matthew 5,21-22
Comment by Tobi — July 7, 2011 @ 5:46 am |
This is brilliant, an awesome truth about who serves us. Well done for putting it into perspective, comforting words of truth.
Comment by Derrick Sales — July 7, 2011 @ 11:53 pm |
Dear Paul,
This is a really cool article…can you please clarify this verse in 1 John 5:18? “If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it.”
Comment by Joshua James Robert — July 14, 2011 @ 10:58 pm |
Hi Paul and full Grace brother,
How is mercy connected to grace ? Can you please explain in detail a friend of mine has asked me and i said i will get back to him……
In His Grace and Love
John
Comment by NAS - FAVOUR — July 28, 2011 @ 2:28 pm |
Mercy is when you don’t get what you do deserve (eg: punishment); grace is when you do get what you don’t deserve (eg: favor). You might also say that mercy gets you forgiveness but grace makes you righteous and acceptable in the Beloved.
Comment by Paul Ellis — July 28, 2011 @ 3:16 pm |
Hi Paul have read your article – good thanks for further thoughts
http://astridstaley.wordpress.com/
blessings Astrid
Comment by astridstaley — December 17, 2011 @ 5:03 pm |
Dear Paul,
Thank you for your comforting message. We lost our 21 year old daughter on December 1, 2011. She was battling prescription drugs. We found her journal. She had a deep relationship with God, but we were unaware of her deep depression and the affect of Adderal. We do believe our daughter is in heaven. God bless all parents experiencing a similar tragedy. This is certainly the toughest time in our life. Our hearts our broken…
Comment by Freddie — January 2, 2012 @ 4:37 pm |
Dear Freddie,
I am so sorry for your loss. If you need anything or if I can help in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask. Although this is a dark time, I’m praying that our loving Father will reveal Himself to you in ways you have not known and touch your broken hearts. Know that everyone reading this is praying for you too.
Comment by Paul Ellis — January 2, 2012 @ 5:42 pm |
In the movie about Martin Luther, he said, “The man who commits suicide is no more to blame than the man who is attacked by robbers.”
This was such a confirmation for me.
I gave my life to Christ as a child. I grew up in church all my life – present at every service and then some! Pianist, teacher, active leader in many ways. I had always loved the Lord, His Word, His people, and His work. I didn’t know it then, but I was deeply rooted and living in
religion.
At 38 years old, I attempted suicide. And nearly succeeded. Something no one, including myself, would have ever dreamed I would’ve even considered.
I can testify that most people have no idea of the depth of deception the enemy can pour on. Especially, if you have opened the door to him by participating in sin. It will harden your heart and conscious. And if you are not constantly in the Word or have a REAL relationship with the Spirit of God – not a church roll record or list of accomplishments and duties – but a real, living, breathing, interactive relationship – the enemy’s lies began to make sense.
He loves to cull people out of the fold. Isolation and sickness or weakness (spiritually) are his playground. The only defense is understanding who you are in Christ, staying full of the Word, and getting rid of religion. It will kill you.
Upon returning home from the hospital, I began saturating myself in the Word through tv, music, CD’s, tapes, services, classes. I found Andrew Wommack and although his teachings made my angry at first, because they challenged my false theology, I now praise God for delivering me from the bondage of religion! I am so thankful for Grace teachers like you, Paul!! Your work (and those like you) is saving lives! Even – and especially – the saved ones!
Comment by Lynn — February 28, 2012 @ 9:36 am |
Hi Lynn, thanks for writing in and telling us a little of your story. God is good!
Comment by Paul Ellis — February 28, 2012 @ 10:15 am |