What Would Jesus Drive?

A standard question asked at youth groups used to be “Should Christians drive BMWs?” I never understood the point of this. I wondered, does God hate German cars?

Yes I know it was never about the car. But how could we cruise around with 300 brake-horsepower under the bonnet when poor people were starving and going to hell? Nothing like a guilt trip for getting young people to do the right thing.

As the new season of Top Gear is starting tomorrow, I thought I would spend some time pondering the theological question that left Augustine and Luther stumped: what would Jesus drive? We picture Jesus in sandals but that’s what you walked in back then. Now, of course, He would drive, just like everybody else. But what would He drive?

I’d really like to own a Bugatti Veyron, but I doubt Jesus would have the same need for speed. I just don’t imagine Him ever being in a hurry. Neither can I imagine Him driving a Volvo. Would anyone drive a Volvo if they had a choice? How about a Combivan? Maybe if He had returned to California in the 1970s but not now.

I’ve spent some time thinking about this deep theological issue and have come up with 6 suggestions.

Anyone who’s lived in Hong Kong will instinctively appreciate the value of a 16 seat Toyota Coaster for moving a small group of disciples around. Plus the Hong Kong versions run on LPG. On a per person basis they’re probably the most environmentally vehicle on the planet.

The Hyundai Genesis is apparently the world’s most awarded card and you want to see Jesus driving the very best right? That 4.6l V8 engine is just the ticket for getting away to quiet places in style and, hey, it’s named after a book in the Bible.

If you want a car for all nations the Shelby Cobra could be perfect. It’s thoroughly British in origin but was improved upon by Ford. Europeans love it. Americans love it. And because of its brand name and ridiculous price tag, Asians love it too. The power to weight ratio is off the scale and why that should matter to Jesus… I have no idea.

The world of today is far more urban than when Jesus walked the Roman roads. He’d want a city car and there’s none better than the new Fiat 500. It’s cheaper than both a Beetle and a Mini and easier to park

But then who cares about parking when you have a Monster Truck? Wouldn’t you love to see Jesus ride one of these puppies over the limos and Lear jets of some TV evangelists? He’s not going to be preaching on mounts or lakes – that’s so first century – but in stadiums, and what better way to make an entrance than in something called The Grave Robber or Rockosaurus.

But then maybe Jesus wouldn’t drive anything. Maybe He’d just take the bus to set a good example and to maximize His time with the poor and car-less.

What do you think?

17 Comments on What Would Jesus Drive?

  1. You’re insane.

  2. Had to come check this post out from your one year recap.🙂 Enjoyed the read. My vote would be a Honda Accord, only because of the Scripture verse that says they were all in “one accord”, haha.

    • Can’t stop laughing Brandon, I could just see Jesus and a few of his disciples driving down the road in a accord. Maybe Peter driving and Jesus with the window down maybe his hand is hanging out the window talking to Peter and Peter taken his eyes off the road!

  3. Pennee Rowland // February 5, 2011 at 1:43 pm // Reply

    iNtErEsTiNg voom voom

  4. Of course it would be a 60s Corvette catering to the older generation as well as the younger.

  5. Roshan Easo // May 26, 2011 at 4:46 pm // Reply

    This peer-reviewed article hurt my back from laughter…for the second time.

  6. hahaha!
    the speeder bike is a great choice for leisure…
    but give me a star trek transporter for everything else!🙂

  7. I think he would take the bus and preach the folks he meets there. Remember that Jesus had no place to put his head.

  8. haha🙂 I like this question and have asked God over and over again about cars.

  9. 🙂 but seriously to bring some freedom to the topic, Jesus had two forms of transport ( if you don’t count being taken up into heaven, sorry make that three (boat) he walked; the common man walked ( he was made poor that we might become rich) and he took a donkey. When a King comes on a donkey He is making peace, when He comes on a horse He is making war.

    The comment was made about your motoring decisions in light of all the starving people. The disciples told off a woman for pouring a $30000 jar of alabaster over Jesus’s feet and Jesus rebuked them for it.

    Economics is the study of mans behavior in light of his limitless desires but with limited resources .

    I don’t think Jesus today has limited recourses . As He is so am I in this world.

    You are considered in the top 10% wealthy of the planet if you have a car of any condition so reality of these lawmakers is that if it is about the poor then no Christian should drive a car at all.

  10. hahaha…I can’t stop watching. I can’t believe there are some top gear fans here. I think he would drive an SLS AMG electric drive so that he can save the planet and earn serious street cred at the same time. Hopefully, each disciple will have one too. Except Judas of course who will be busy with his VW beetle as part of austerity measures

    • The absence of fast roads in Judea could be a problem. One solution: Jesus could use the Top Gear hover-van to nip up and down the Jordan River.

      • Hehehe…I just realized that the post title can be abbreviated as WWJD😮
        I see your point. With the hover-van, he would cruise along the grass and ancient roads with ease and carry the disciples at the same time! But they will always fight for the sitting positions; at the front where there are important buttons to be pushed or at the back where there is a terrible racket. (I have a feeling that John would sit at the front). You may have a valid point there Paul…

  11. He wouldn’t have driven anything he would have flown……a 60 million dollar Gulf Stream jet!!

  12. I’d say that if Jesus couldn’t drive a BMW because “there are starving people in the world”, he should just walk, for the same reason, and he shouldn’t have expensive perfume broken over his feet. Then again, in an age of horses, he did walk, but was that to avoid the ostentatious look of riding a horse, or because most people where he lived walked, and it helped him to be even more pressed by the crowds that were constantly packing around him than had he been on his high horse, and does that necessarily prevent him from riding a horse elsewhere, or ride on clouds, and going on the wings of wind (a little fancier than a beemer perhaps?)

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