Who’s Your Helper?
History turns on small hinges and there has been no greater turn than the fall of man as recorded in Genesis 3. Everything that is wrong with the world – war, disease, death, genocide – can be traced back to man’s rejection of God. So we might say the saddest verse in the Bible is found in Genesis 3. Except that it’s not. It’s found in Genesis 2:
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. (Gen 2:18-20)
In three short verses the story of the human race is told in three parts.
1: You need help!
You were born with needs you cannot meet. Needs for love, acceptance, and affirmation. These God-given needs were hardwired into you to lead you to the Source of all love.
God says, “It is not good for you be alone,” and Hollywood says, “That’s right, you need to hook up and find your Jerry Maguire. Only when you find the perfect man or woman can you say, ‘You complete me’.”
And God does a facepalm.
2: God is your Helper
In verse 18 God says to Adam, “You need a helper.” Then in the next verse God helps! He brings all the animals and birds to Adam for naming.
What do you think was harder: gathering all the birds and animals or naming them? God does the hard part; Adam does the easy part. Nothing’s changed. God always does the heavy lifting because he’s our Father and he loves us.
“Wait a second Paul. Are you saying God was Adam’s helper? Because I thought the helper was Adam’s wife?”
I’m sure Eve was a great help, but she wasn’t God. Her help was merely human help, while we all need God-sized help. God’s plan is to co-labour with you and do great, big, impossible things. Get excited!
Fun fact: The word for helper in Genesis 2 is ‛êzer. This word appears 21 times in the Bible and every single time it refers to the Lord. Here’s an example:
I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help (‛êzer) comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psa 121:1-2)
3: Man rejects help
And now we come to the saddest verse in the Bible:
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. (Gen 2:20)
What’s wrong with you Adam? God just told you what you need (a Helper) and then he provided himself as the answer to your need. (Or did you think those animals showed up by themselves?) But you didn’t see the Helper behind the help. You didn’t life your eyes to the hills and see the Creator himself helping you.
“No suitable helper was found.” That doesn’t mean there wasn’t one, because there was. He was right there helping. But Adam didn’t recognize him.
God: “It’s not good for man to be alone. Here I am!”
Adam: “It’s not good that you didn’t make two versions of me, then I would be twice as awesome.”
Have you ever seen Michaelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” in the Sistene Chapel? It’s a painting with a message. God is straining down from heaven to reach Adam, to help him, but Adam couldn’t care less. He laid back, leaning away from God. He looks like he’s watching TV.
God tried to get Adam’s attention but Adam wanted something else. He didn’t see God as his helper so God gave him what he wanted which was a copy of himself. “She shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man” (Gen 2:23). Adam’s preferred helper literally came from his own flesh.
Jerry Maguire was wrong
Eve was always part of God’s plan for Adam, but she was never meant to be his primary Helper (Ps 60:11, 108:12). Thank God for helpful spouses, but they cannot help you in the way that God helps. Don’t ever think a husband or wife will complete you. It’s not true. Only God can provide that which you need. You’ll sink your marriage if you put God-sized expectations on your spouse.
“Paul, I thought you were a grace preacher. Why are you giving marriage counselling?”
Because a helpless world needs a revelation of a God who longs to help us. Whatever your need, God gives grace so that you might be helped:
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4:16, NKJV)
How do I get help?
Here are three lies that will stop you finding God’s help today:
- I don’t need help (I can help myself)
- I can’t get help (I’m helpless)
- God won’t help (I’m hopeless)
The gospel truth is that God promises to meet all your needs (see Matt 6:25, Php 4:19). Believe it! Come boldly to his throne of grace knowing that your heavenly Father loves to help.
There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides across the heavens to help you. (Deu 33:26)
Something I have been teaching my kids lately is this: Who get’s helped? Answer: Those who ask for help. So ask. Don’t be like laid-back Adam who looked to his own flesh for help. See the God who rides across the heavens to help you. Bring your needs to him.
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. (Ps 63:7)
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Interesting.
“God tried to get Adam’s attention but Adam wanted something else.”.
Sounds like you believe that Adam was discontent and coveting before Eve came into the picture.
God knows what we need, and if you need something you will have it. If you don’t have it, you don’t need it. Most people think they need something they don’t, and then they engage in attempting to manipulate God to get it. The apostle Paul learned to be content, knowing that if something was important to God, God would take care of it.
There is a typo in part 3 (just trying to “help”)
“If you don’t have it, you don’t need it.”
I don’t think this is always true. There are plenty of believers that don’t have peace in every area of their lives. I guess we don’t “need” peace to survive but God certainly wants us to have it always.
We limit God by a lack of understanding how much he loves us and how much he has already given us through the cross.
Hi Bob, we have peace with God, whether or not we have a correct emotional response to it.
I believe what you say Bob
“And God does a face palm” haha
Amen, He is willing and He is able. Thank you!!!
Paul thanks for sharing this amazing truth that brings to life successful marriage principles that I have taught for years, but now have a biblical foundation. May God give you even more!
What a revelation – Thankyou Paul, have never seen this before – What a lot of sense this makes! While reading this I saw a triangle with my wife and I at its base and Jesus at the apex. As we each keep our eyes on Jesus as our One True Helper, we climb the sides of the triangle. In doing so we grow experiencially closer to Him with the great advantage of growing closer In our relationship – By seeing Him alone as our Helper, we become a much more real help to one another! In our 56th year of marriage we have so much to be thankful to Him for – Thanks again Paul for putting this in such clear perspective.
What a graceful Father we have! He’s the God and Creator of the universe, yet He takes the position of our helper.
WOW! I needed to read this! Ive had two bad marriages and msny failed relationships to looking for that “someone” to fulfill me, and bring me happiness…and all along Jesus was standing right in front of me with arms open wide saying, “Here I Am!” Indeed, JESUS COMPLETES ME!!! No one else ever can…so I don’t “need” anyone but Him, although I thank Him for the human love and friendships He gives me….but they never can fulfill me as He does!
Thank you for posting this, Paul.
I liked the part about the 3 lies stopping us getting help. I think God may be showing me lately that he CAN help in both small things and big things. Not only have I been overwhelmed with a few large things ganging up on me. I can easily see that I can’t deal with these without help. But I have found myself lately emotionally incapacitated with even dealing with small things that most people handle easily without God. It has become a cliché when we say “Without God we can do nothing”. We don’t really believe it. Well, I’m starting to believe it. And it’s not such a pleasant experience. But when God breaks my self reliance, and his favor and presence start manifesting it makes it all worth it.
thanks Paul, a word of encouragement that i need at this time, when someone you love has a problem you want to help,eventually they have to step up and realise they need help,” you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink.”
And then again Jesus said ‘I go but I send you the helper’ God is the biggest and greatest helper anyone can have. So why settle for less?
Thanks Paul for this awesome post.
what an anointed insight. never understood gen 2 like this before. bless you for your faith and service in the lord, paul.
Thank you. Just what was on my mind this morning. Very clear
Paul thank you for this profound insight!
Whilst we’re so desperately searching for a solutions God is all the time presenting Himself as the only helper we will ever need. I’ve been reading your pages for a while now, wondering how one is ever able to make the transition from religion to grace and this idea kept on popping up but I, due to conditioning that we have to figure things out ourselves, just could not SEE it clearly until now. Thank you so much and may God keep on blessing you in your quest to set the captives free.
I loved this. I have constant back pain and at times I confess that I allow myself to feel helpless and hopeless. But it’s a lie. God wants me to come boldly to His throne of grace and so I will. God bless you brother Paul.
This is just the encouragement I needed at this time as well as a timely word for my 89 year old father who has been unable to sleep due to anxiety over evil thoughts that have been tormenting him. Thank you Jesus and thank you Paul for your faithfulness in sharing your insights.
Perfectly timed – thank you.
I have PRAYED for deliverance from addiction for several years. I am alone with nobody to help.God has hid his face from me.
Betty, walk in grace, it is hard to define what will work best for you without knowing your situation. We’re praying you see all of his grace here on Escape To Reality and if that’s not helping because you don’t have the home support or have copies of the books then please look at the cross and the empty tomb. He died for everyone, but sweeter still He died for you and He lives for you. GOD died for you! It’s not about your sin. His wrath was against that disease and He nailed it to the cross. God will stop at nothing to win you back. Read John 14, 15, 16 as a Christian survival guide. And you could study Romans 6 or 8 for 4 years and not waste a single day. Hebrews 10 will floor you and don’t let it condemn you because you desire God’s help. That’s all he needs to help you. If you’re even struggling at THAT point, don’t give in to dispair and self-effort. There’s a great site called STUFF JESUS NEVER SAID on Facebook and God just keeps amazing me that He loves me that much. We’re praying for your complete healing and above all else, like the Apostle Paul, for your prosperity. He’s done it all…and what you CAN now do!
Betty,I want too encourage you,i am in a situation with someone,and have prayed,pleated,etc for there deliverance,Gods grace has been all over me for a few years now,to deal with this,you MUST believe HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU, YOU MUST BELIEVE HOW LOVED AND SAVED YOU ARE, I believe there is a place for deliverance,Ive also seen the power of AGAPE [ love] [noun] God is Love[agape] and the more people realise and or have a revelation of his love { perfect love casts out fear] deliverance is a piece of cake for AGAPE.
Betty, that sounds horrible. I’m really sorry. All I can say is that you are at the right place with this blog. Please keep reading Paul’s archive posts. I believe that if you fill your mind with the right things (and it will have to be large quantities) that your situation will eventually change. But your belief structure will have to change first. Please use your faith to believe one thing only – that your righteousness comes only from one place – Jesus and His sacrifice for you. Romans 4: 4-8. When you fall into sin again you have not fallen out of favor or fellowship with God, even though it feels like it. You are righteous apart from works. Isaiah 54 says that God will never be angry at you. Please start confessing your righteousness, not your sin, when you screw up. Joseph Prince has a sermon called Condemnation Kills that would really be a blessing to you if you could get it. The fact that you are drawn to Paul’s website shows that God has not given up on you and wants to pull you out of the pit you are in. I’m praying for you.
Betty, pray like this: “Thank you Lord you’ve done it all!” knowing that romans 7-8 says that sin’s root is dead even though it’s vines are still left to cling to you as you abide in the true vine. Have you seen the Grace Gallery on this website? God most definitely has not left you or is even mad at you! His face is towards you shining with love and grace even though this world system has something else to say. I’m not against it, but I will say don’t use your willpower to say no to sin. Submit to God’s grace and say Yes to Jesus! As Paul says, the bad news is that life is bigger than you. The good news is that Jesus is bigger than All!
Betty, what makes you think God has hidden his face from you? You say you’ve prayed for deliverance, but did you know that He has already delivered you? Do you still think of yourself as addicted and unable to overcome? If so, stop believing the lies about yourself that the enemy tells you and start believing the Truth about yourself that God tells you. You are His beloved daughter and if you are In Christ (meaning you have put your faith in Jesus and believe that what He did for you on the cross was a success), then you are righteous and blameless before Him. Therefore, you can come BOLDLY before the throne of Grace because you have an advocate with the Father. No, He has not hidden his face from you; His face is turned toward you and smiling and laughing joyfully. Start looking at yourself and your situation from God’s perspective and not Satan’s and you’ll begin to see yourself in a whole new light. Let Him pursue you with His Love that is so vast and deep and unending and all the problems you’ve gone through will disappear in the brightness of His glory!
Hi Betty’ I’ve struggled with addictions myself so know what you are feeling. Our problem is that the addiction becomes so big in our mind that it squeezes out the truth about how God sees us and we also struggle because we keep our addiction secret. If we confess our secrets to our brothers and sisters in Christ and see the love they continue to have for us then we are more likely to be able to receive God’s love. We often think we have to clean up our act before God will look at us kindly but little babies can’t clean their diapers so that their mummy will love them. Jesus has made us clean so that God the Father can love us completely. We have to focus on that fact even in the middle of our struggle. God cannot see our dirtiness because Jesus has cleaned us up.
Why would you say that God has his his face from you, the bible teaches that he will never leave you nor forsake you. I’m sorry that you believe you are addicted to something – that is the only thing keeping you manifesting addiction, that you believe you are addicted! The bible says Jesus has set you free, so anything else than freedom is not the truth!
Tell yourself a different story, and you will be amazed at the freedom you find you had all along but didn’t believe you had! You are blessed!
What God DIDN’T do is interesting. He didn’t say “I will reveal myself to him so that he can see that I AM God.”
Humanity had to wait until Jesus to make it very clear…
Paul, I as such a big fan of your writings because the Spirit within me is always in quiet agreement with what you put forth. However, I have been troubled by this teaching. Are you saying that Eve was Adam’s punishment for not accepting God’s help? Is she a lesser creation because she was made from man? In Genesis 1:27 it says that God created mankind in His image, both male and female. If Eve was created in the image of God, then could she represent the “feminine” nature of God, i.e. nurturing, compassion and intuitiveness? If so, Could she be part of the godly “help” that Adam needed?
Eve was always part of God’s plan. How else was Adam to “go forth and multiply”? Certainly God reveals himself to us through people, but we miss the mark if we think our spouses complete us or can be God to us (Jer 17:5:7). Study the word ezer in scripture and you will find that men like Moses, Jacob, Samuel, and David had a profound understanding of God our Helper. You and I have a great need for help; God is our great Helper for our need.
“Woe to those who …do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD.” (Isa 31:1)
Amen, Paul…amen! I have learned that after many failed relationships….Jesus is my ONLY fulfillment!
Profound post Saint Paul. I never saw that coming! In your reply to Katie, you said “we miss the mark if we think our spouses complete us or can be God to us (Her 17:5:7).” Isn’t this the first sin? My understanding of the definition of sin is missing the mark.
Still pondering this profound post. Like what about Enoch that was taken up and did not experience death (the wages of sin). Etc., Etc.
Blessing,
Warren (South Carolina, USA)
What do yall think about seeking psychology for help with mental disorders? My young daughter and whole family is being tormented by her displaying depression and some kind of mood/anxiety disorder. I feel possibly she’s bipolar. Her frequent crying for reasons she doesn’t even understand, and outbursts over the smallest things are debilitating her and the whole family.
I really didn’t want to go the psychology route. I just want a supernatural healing. But it hasn’t gone away in months, and we are all miserable living with this. So her first psychologist appointment is tomorrow. Am I wrong to turn to human help here?
Are doctors and medicine sometimes God’s help?
Hi Amber. Right now it looks like the behavior is having the exact result that it is intended to produce, distress in your family. It’s easy to get sucked into these lies by the liar. Let me relate to you something I read. A couple had a small son, one of several children, who suddenly began to act badly at home and in school. The parents were distraught over the behavior and teachers were reporting that he was out of control at times in the classroom. They sought some help from a fellow church member who asked them what they thought when they saw their son. Their response was that they thought of him as their little troublesome boy. They were then told to change that response to something different. When they saw him, they were to exchange that negative thought for one that went along these lines: Here is the beloved child of God who is loved, lovable and loving. (You can also change those words for any other quality that comes from our heavenly Father.) Gradually the behavior settled down and a complete healing of the problem ensued. It may seem forced at first, but it will reach down into your heart and will feel exceedingly true, which it is.
As far as giving advice as to whether you should seek the help of doctors or medicine, that is a personal decision. I would say, though, that if it leads you back to God, then they are God’s help, if He gives that kind of help at all. Otherwise it just takes you to more doctors and more medicine, which are a kingdom divided against itself, telling you that it is good but it has its bad side also.
I’m sure everyone, including myself, who reads your post will be praying and affirming the truth for you. God is with you.
Dave,
Wow! Thank you so much for that reply! It really resonated with me. Thank you, and anyone else, for your prayers and advice too.
Everything you said makes so much sense and puts a fresh perspective on it for me. I have been thinking some about changing my thoughts toward her. But what you said affirms that I need to. It’s definitely a forced thing right now. It’s so hard when her behavior is so negative. She even gets upset when I try to talk about God or pray with her.
I’ll defintely be contemplating and praying about this, waiting for my positive thoughts about her to not be forced.
We realize this has to change now before the teenage years hit. That’s when depression and these types of things seem to get worse. I know it did for me as a teen. Not that it’s hopeless to come out of this in the teen years, but it took me until I was about 30 to overcome these types of issues. I’m determined she will have better sooner!
Amber, Dave gave you the BEST advice there in 2016! How is your daughter now? The effectiveness of this approach has been proving itself as truth in my family life this past year. There is no other answer as powerful. Medicine cannot change it, it can only mask it.
And when you look, you will see that it is what Jesus kept on teaching. “Don’t believe what you see with your eyes unless it manifests love and life”.
So what that means to me is anything that looks like negativity, or sickness, whether mental or physical, it is not the truth to me.
I hope you were able to force it till you felt it, not the other way around. Blessings!!
The truth is your daughters real self is loving, sweet and happy. If that is the only part of her that receives acknowledgment, the negative false self that tries to distract you will starve and fall away. We don’t even need to speak of the reason why this is so (Jesus) to the afflicted one, until they are sane again. And it’s a 100% guarantee they will be sane again if we do this with our kids. Jesus said so, and we can believe him.
The saddest part in the Bible for me, besides Jesus’ death was in Genesis 6:6, where God was sad.
Hello Paul,
I remember reading your article today and was just reading Genesis 2 this morning. I agree with the general point of your article that God is our helper. But I think you are stretching it when you say that God brought Adam all the animals to prove he point to Adam that this was so. In verse 18 it states that before bringing the animals to Adam that God had already decided that the man was ‘alone’ and that he would make a ‘helper’. If man was alone (though God was there), and the appropriate helper would be created, we see that the answer to the ‘problem at hand’ wasn’t God’s help for Adam, but a partner/companion.
Thanks Sara. Don’t you find it interesting that every single time the word helper is used in scripture, it refers to the aid of God. The order of the verses in Gen 2 is significant. In verse 18 God says “You need” and in the next verse he supplies that need. God wants us to see him as our Source for life. This is God’s will for all of us. Sadly, rejecting his supply and looking around for alternatives is man’s usual response.
Paul that’s is so good. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with that last sentence, as the source of all our grief. With that realization my prayers have become mainly Amen and Thank you!!
If we remain without marrying whole our life and if don’t have anybody who are for us can we be happy with only God whole our life?
Yes.
Paul, what do you think is the purpose of marriage? Also, would you agree that it is God that provides a spouse?
Marriage is a gift from God, a chance for mere mortals to experience heaven on earth through the mystery of other-focused love. Marriage is an opportunity to shrug off the heavy idol of self and see the world through the eyes of another. And marriage is a stepping stone to family which is where that old selfish ego gets knocked down by the unstoppable and wonderful force of parenting.
As for your second question, the answer is yes and no. God provided a wife for Isaac and many men like him, but the scriptures also say “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” There’s a search involved.