Isaac the Fearful

As a father, I want to give my kids good things—love, food, shelter, opportunities, and memories. But the one thing I want to give them most is a revelation of our heavenly Father.

I’m convinced that the reason God made fathers, mothers, aunties, uncles, grandparents and caregivers so that children might have living signposts to the Father.

And this is why I believe Isaac was a failed father.

Lately, our family has been reading the Dramatised Bible around the table. The scripts in that Bible bring old stories to life. They’re lots of fun and they trigger discussion and insight.

One thing I’ve come to appreciate through re-enacting these stories is how flawed Isaac was as a father. As the father of Esau and Jacob, he comes across as a subpar father at best.

Here are three signs that you are a bad dad:

• You can’t tell your sons apart—even though they are totally different
• You bless one son, then tell the other, “Sorry, kid, I have no blessings left for you”
• You raise a dysfunctional family where deception and favoritism are normal

The fruit of Isaac’s poor fathering was violence—“I’m going to kill that brother of mine,” said Esau – and separation—Jacob spent the next 20 years living in a foreign land (see Gen. 27).

Which makes you wonder how Isaac could have been such a poor father when he had so much going for him. He was the miracle baby, the child of promise. God gave Isaac the same promises of blessing he gave to Abraham. What was Isaac’s problem?

He battled with fear and unbelief.

In the Bible, God speaks to Isaac two times. On the first occasion, God instructs Isaac not to go down to Egypt but to remain in the land of Canaan.

Sojourn in this land and I will be with you and bless you, for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands… and by your descendants all the nations of the earth shall be blessed. (Genesis 26:3–4)

Wow! This is a promise to treasure and pass on to your children. You get a promise like this and every day you’ll get up saying, “God is with me, he has blessed me, and he’s giving me a large family.”

But Isaac didn’t do this.

Fear vs faith

Although Isaac stayed in the land, he battled with fear: “He was afraid” (Gen. 26:7). When local men took an interest in his beautiful wife Rebekah, Isaac panicked. Instead of trusting God, he lied and said she was his sister.

Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear says, “God is not with me” or “God cannot protect me.” Fear leads to superstition and dead works. Fear will have you making vain promises to God or praying like mad with worry. In Isaac’s case, his fear and distrust led him to tell lies and deceive people.

We know fear was the issue because the second and last time God spoke to Isaac, he said, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you” (Gen. 26:24). God had to remind Isaac of what he should have already known.

We remember Isaac for his success in planting crops, but we overlook his failures in raising a family. He had faith for farming but not fathering. That mix of faith and fear produced a fractured home filled with favoritism, deceit, and bitterness.

As parents, we may fear for our families. We may worry that our kids will go astray or that something bad will happen to them.

We cannot control everything that happens to our children, but we can guard the garden of our hearts. We uproot these fears by reminding ourselves that God is greater than what we are facing and that he is with us and desires to bless our families. Isaac did not do this, but we can learn from his mistakes.

How to be a better parent

If you want to be a better parent, get in the habit of reminding yourself that God is a good Father:

1. Unlike Isaac, God knows you (and your kids) better than you know yourself. He knows everything you’ve done and everything you’re going to do and he loves you just the same. He knows how you are made and he numbers the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7).
2. Unlike Isaac, God is not stingy with grace. He does not bless some and curse others. He does not show favor based on pedigree or performance but he desires to bless us all with his abundant grace.
3. Unlike Isaac, God is raising a family where we are all accepted and loved just as we are.

Life is full of trials and troubles, cares and concerns. Isaac was surrounded by men who envied him and stole his wells. But the real danger came from within—fear rooted in unbelief.

Fear left unchecked will poison your mind, weaken your marriage, and ruin your family. Fear will make you a bad parent like Isaac. Fear will mess up your kids.

Don’t let fear rule your home. Don’t let fear grow in your heart.

Instead, fix your eyes on your heavenly Father. God is good and he longs to be good to you. Trust his promises. Teach them to your children. Cast your cares on him, knowing that he cares for you, and be blessed.

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We can learn a lot from fearful Isaac, the Patriarch who heard from God the least. Learn more about how Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob heard and responded to the grace of God in the bonus materials that accompany this article on Patreon.