Wommackisms – Top 20 Andrew Wommack Quotes

If you’ve ever heard Andrew Wommack speak, you will know that he is one unique hombre. I’m not just referring to his theology – there’s a growing number of people preaching pure grace these days. I’m referring to the way he speaks.

I say this with the utmost respect, but Wommack has mastered the art of sounding like a country hick. And before you write in to complain, let me say that’s his word not mine:

“God chose the foolish things of the world to confound the wise… because people who are foolish… trust in God the most… God often uses country hicks to preach the Gospel for that very reason. I guarantee you, when you’re a hick from Texas like me, then you know it’s got to be God on your behalf or you haven’t got a chance. And there’s freedom in that!” (The True Nature of God, pp.98-9)

This time a year ago I had never heard Wommack preach. I’ve now heard him speak several times and I’ve read many of his books. He’s become one of my favorite Bible teachers. Although I was startled by his manner at first, I’ve come to appreciate his colloquialisms and his down-home wisdom. If you’ve grown up on a diet of religious mumbo-jumbo, then you may find his plainspokenness quite refreshing. To give you a taste, here are 20 of my favorite Wommackisms:

1.    “If you’d just center your thoughts and affections upon the Lord, you’d be better of accidentally than you’ve ever been on purpose!” (A Better Way to Pray, p.84)

2.    “Many Christians believe that the only difference between the Old Testament and the New is one blank page in the Bible.” (A Better Way to Pray, p.46)

3.    “God’s anointing is not based on your performance, but if you don’t open the Word, you’re stupid, because that’s where the words of life are.” (The True Nature of God, p.99)

4.    “When I minister healing to someone, I’ll pray for them two, three, four, or more times. I don’t care! I’m willing to pray for them until I rub all the hair off of their head!” (A Better Way to Pray, p.125)

5.    “Many believers haven’t seen the devil or a demon in years. He doesn’t have to come around. You’re doing a perfect job ruining your own life. He taught you how to think and act, and you’ve run with it from there – with good intentions. You’re trying to live for God, but it’s you doing it in human strength rather than God living through you.” (Grace – The Power of the Gospel, p.127)

6.    “Contrary to popular belief, faith does not move God. He’s not the one who’s stuck!” (A Better Way to Pray, p.44)

7.    “Some people are waiting until the Holy Spirit just makes them throw their hands up in the air because they’ve never done it before. ‘Well, I just don’t feel led.’ You old carnal thing!” (Grace – The Power of the Gospel, p.138)

8.    “What a sorry attitude! If I were God, the spirit of slap would come all over me!” (A Better Way to Pray, p.63)

9.    “It’s a wonder you’re not a pile of ashes! The only reason God’s not ticked off at you is because Jesus did such an effective job.” (A Better Way to Pray, p.59)

10.    “You have this new spirit on the inside of you and the only thing holding you back is your ‘stinkin’ thinkin’.” (Grace – The Power of the Gospel, p.161)

11.    “God is El Shaddai, not El Cheapo. The Lord will take care of us better than we take care of ourselves.” (Article: Financial Stewardship)

12.    “When it comes to being born again, your soul wasn’t the part of you that completely changed! If you were stupid before you were saved, you’re still stupid after being saved.” (Spirit, Soul, and Body, p.6)

13.    “When my wife and I first started out in ministry, we were so poor we couldn’t even pay attention!” (You’ve Already Got It, p.16)

14.    “One of the things I’ve learned is that many Christians never let the Bible get in the way of what they believe.” (Article: Hebrews Highlights)

15.    “In Genesis, why didn’t the devil choose a tiger?… Why didn’t he have a wooly mammoth just stick its foot on top of her head and demand, ‘Eat the fruit or I’ll crush your skull?’” (You’ve Already Got It, p.115)

16.    “The devil isn’t a true lion; he just walks around roaring like one trying to intimidate the Body of Christ. But the truth is, he’s had his teeth pulled, and all he can do now is gum you.” (You’ve Already Got It, p.120)

17.    “If you never bump into the devil, it’s because you’re going in the same direction.” (Article: How to Be Happy)

18.    “It’s wrong, wrong, wrong!” (You’ve Already Got It, p.150, when discussing spiritual mapping and missions trips where people have been instructed not to preach the gospel)

19.    “Most Christians say, ‘Well, I’m only human, you know. I’m just a man.’ That’s stinkin’ thinkin’! I was only human, but then I became born again. There’s part of me now that’s wall-to-wall Holy Ghost.” (You’ve Already Got It, p.167)

20.    “That’ll put a shout in a fence post!” (You’ve Already Got It, p.28)

I know there are a few of Wommack fans out there reading this because I regularly get emails from people enrolled in Charis Bible College. Tell me, what’s your favorite Wommackism?
___
Related posts:
- “You’ve Already Got It” by Andrew Wommack
- “God Wants You Well” by Andrew Wommack
- “Grace – The Power of the Gospel” by Andrew Wommack

Comments

  1. “If you don’t know your authority in Christ, satan will eat your lunch and pop the bag.”
    “If you are not built up in the Word of God, when trials come you will fall apart like a $2 suitcase.”
    “Sometimes I get so mad at religious folks leading people astray that I want to nuke em ’til they glow and shoot em in the dark.”

    • Hey Becky,
      Sorry about your commet, you should look up the meaning of the word religious before you judge anyone.

      • @Jerry, These are (roughly) quotes I remember from Andrew, not mine. (thus the name of this thread) I am a CBC grad and was an apprentice for Andrew. He doesn’t have a judgmental bone in his body, but he does like to poke fun.

      • Hey Jerry,
        Why don’t you relax?
        Religion demands but grace gives…
        Religious spirit is one of the favorite devil’s weapons againts the Body of Christ.

    • vermag says:

      God is definitely at the top of the food chain.:)

  2. My favorite one is that if your not careful Satan will eat your lunch nap pop the bag. Haha

  3. 1greatvoyage says:

    this is a funny post, yep, I recognize a lot of the “wommmack-isms”….here’s a couple that come to mind:

    -something about “that’s more ridiculous than a hen with teeth”

    -“if you don’t know that, then Satan’s gonna eat your lunch and POP the BAG!”

  4. Yes, Andrew is my spiritual father and I’m a Charis bible College Student as well…one my favs of his is: An old blind squirrel can find a nut once and a while, usually meant when he talks about people praying to God for something that has already been given in Jesus.

    • Don’t shout me down when I’m preaching good. I love Andrew Wommack, ” spirit of slap just comes on me”

  5. Excellent stuff Paul! I love the way Andrew refers to himself and I love his plainspokeness.

    When a dear friend tried to introduce me to his teaching I couldn’t stand his accent and just refused to listen – now I cannot wait to be at the European Minister’s Conference each year to hear what God has revealed to Andrew. The guy tells it like it is and if we had more pastors, ministers, evangelists etc who were prepared to do that then the world would be a better place.

    One of the things we may well do at conference this year is play ‘Wommackian Bingo’. We will share out the various sayings of Andrew between the 4 of us and see who scores the most at the end of the conference! LOL!

  6. Anne Banks says:

    Thanks for that….we have done a lot of Andrew’s teachings and there is always something to have a giggle at! My favourite has to be the spirit of slap!

    • TERESA SEITZ says:

      I like the “spirit of slap” too!! I have been so blessed by Andrew. I was taking care of my 86 year old invalid Mom and I came across his cd’s. I did this for about 2 years before I started getting into the Word. He planted an invaluable seed… PRAISE GOD! ps Before that, I think the devil and I were heading in the same direction!

  7. I like…. “you don’t need to fall apart like a $2 suitcase.”

  8. Andrew has been my “guru” since 1996 and I love him. One of my favorites is –“How can you be that dumb and still breath”.
    Can you imagine what it would be like to get him and Joseph Prince together for a weekly conference?

  9. LOL ON THIS ONE I JUST HEARD ANDREW SAY:
    “MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A SHEEP, BUT IT JOINED THE BABTIST CHURCH, AND DIED FROM LACK OF SLEEP”

  10. Christoffer says:

    - I am gonna be sayin some things that’re gonna probably offend nearly everybody in here. If you came looking for something to complain about, i’ve got some thing for you.
    – Thank you for that thundering silence
    – sounds like some people are already blessed

  11. God hasn’t had anyone qualified working for him yet.

  12. John Williams says:

    I remeber he was speaking about his personal church in Colorado Springs. He said the pastor had mentioned they had around 3,ooo members and
    Andrew replied, “If you give it to me in a couple of weeks I’ll have it whittled down to 5 or 600.” I love him, God has used him to transform my life into a Grace teacher everywhere I go. When I heared him say “the power to change your life is in the Gospel” I was hooked. One more, “Peolpe get saved and are doing great, then, they go to church, thats when the trouble starts.”

    Your site is awesome!!
    John

    • John Thomas says:

      I was “as a Christian”addicted to drugs for 20 years off and on I got my hands on Sharper than a Two-Edged Sword series and I have never been the same. By the way Jesus and a Pure Grace Mission and Paul had the First Pure Grace Ministry

  13. Heres’ a good one. “You don’t have to agree with me– you have the right to be wrong

  14. Jenny Kent says:

    I think this is one of his most powerful statements
    “God allows what we allow.”
    Boy this makes you think and I heard Curry Blake saying the same thing.
    Awesome ! Love your articles Paul.
    Bless you

  15. “You gotta use your brain for something other than a hat rack!”

  16. Judy Fake says:

    I like how he says ‘I’ve never drank a sip of coffee. If you want to, there is scripture for that. “If they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them”.
    I also like when he says about falling apart like a $2.00 suitcase.
    He also says a lot, ‘Man, that’s powerful!’
    I also like, ‘Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!’

  17. I like how he says, “I haven’t arrived, but I’ve left!”

  18. Grace Is The Answer says:

    Amen or oh me.

  19. AWESOME! Thank you all for taking time to share.

  20. I like when he says God is no mad at you.

  21. Nontokozo mlalazi says:

    Wow i love wommacks teachings they have changed my life greatly guys il love someone who will send me stuff by wommack want to grow in the gospel

  22. My all time favourite quote of Andrew Wommack’s was in the original version of his teaching “The True Gospel” in which he states that he would read God’s Word to get to know Him better, but God would sometimes disturb him. He said that he was told the Lord; “Don’t disturb me now, Lord! I’m reading the Word!” xD

  23. Esther Martinez says:

    My favorite: “Some ought to be glad I’m not God; cause’ I would’ve ‘dropped-kicked’ them right into outer space”

  24. “There’s a reason they call them duh-sciples”

    • Haha my wife and I love this one!

    • Artsy Amy says:

      That one is one of my favorites! What an awesome difference his teachings have made in my life, He has ignited a passion for the Word in me!

      • deborah says:

        I have had such a bad time for 40 years trying to find God in my life and after listening to Andrew since 3 months ago everything is turning around. The one that makes me laught the most is in the second of a better way to pray and he talks about persecution, and say’s how dumb some are telling God we need bags under our eyes healed, I laughed so much, that is me to a t.

  25. You quoted a lot of my faves. Here’s one I heard today ” People are serving the GodFather rather than God the Father.” -Talking about tithing and people who think God’s gonna get his 10% if he has to break your legs. “You don’t have to tithe, God’s not angry, but you’re stupid if you don’t”

  26. Great website! Being from Texas I relate very much to the way Andrew speaks…it reminds me exactly of some people I know. My walk with the Lord would not be the same without teachings from people like Andrew, Joyce Meyer and Dave Roberson…people that truly teach a balance of grace and faith. My favorite saying of Andrew’s is: “…don’t fall apart like a $2 suitcase.”

  27. Ken Miles says:

    I absolutely love your site, your posts, and Andrew Wommack.

    He keeps it simple, so even I can understand the Gospel, that’s exactly what Jesus wants us to do.
    God Bless you all
    Ken

  28. If you have the revelation of the love of God, it is impossible to be depressed.This is one statement that was just heard once by it stick to my mind and my spirit until now.

  29. Peanut Brain (the way he says it makes me crack up)

  30. “I never went to cemetery, I mean seminary”

  31. “Thank you for that thunderous silence” and “If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet”

  32. “How dumb can you get and still breath?!”

  33. junaid esau says:

    Fall apart like a two dollar suitcase. How dumb can you get and still breathe.

  34. “It’s so simple that you need help to be confused”! LOL…..

  35. I say to all that critized Andrew What if he is right (and I think he is) where does that leave you? Murray.

  36. Jo Jean Knard says:

    I like “the devil’s just a zero with the rim knocked off” and “God’s not mad-He’s not even in a bad mood!”

  37. I always thought he was a chill and funny dude :). Good teacher! I’m also a Charis Bible College gratuate… “I was a heathen, now I’m going to heaven” :). That’s a new one for you. I also listen to joseph Prince. I thank GOD for you bro Paul! Keep doing what your doing- its a Blessing!

  38. My favorite: “There sure are a lot of gullible people out there.”

  39. Lemuel Pierrenoel says:

    OH My GOODNESS!!! I love these quotes!! Andrew Wommack is amazing!! At times its like watching a comedian preach the word of God!!

  40. In his book A BETTER WAY TO PRAY, “I’ll be sharing some things that will probably offend you; but rest assured that if I step on your toes, the Lord will heal them”. *Hilarious*

  41. “Amen” or “Oh me”

  42. I love Andrew Wommack!! He is used of God! Thank you for revelations and truthful insights.

  43. Doris J. Gibson says:

    I too just started listening to Andrew and bought several of his books. I thank God that he allows you to download his lessons free. What a life saver. I told the Lord today that I wanted to partner with him and I said hallelujah so any times after that.That is the Lords way of letting me know that he approves. I have no doubt that, that is what he wants me to do. He is a dynamic teacher. God Bless him because he has certainly blessed me to find him.

    I also just started listening to Joseph Prince. The same thing happened to me when I asked about him also. Praise God. I have been serving the Lord for 36 years. I will be 72, 3/7/40 and still learning so much more. You all have a wonderful Blessed Day. I am glad I found you. Sister Doris J. Gibson

  44. My husband just cracks up when Andrew says, “You think I’m wierd, well I think you’re wierd.” Love it. His teachings have changed my relationship with the Lord beyond measure.

  45. Ruth Black says:

    A man died in a “_” church and when the paramedics came they had to take out half the church before they found the dead man!

    I’ve been listening to Andrew since the late ’80s, I love this man “peanut brains”!

  46. Susie Dunlap says:

    It is so fun to read these comments. I’ve learned from Andrew for the past twenty years, so I’ve heard all these things. As you’re laughing, he gives so much revelation of grace. Deeply love and respect this man!

  47. We love Andrew and Jamie Wommack! We have been honored to have Andrew come to our church in Tennessee as a guest minister every year for 10 years now. These are some of my favorites-“You don’t go to church so God will love you more. You go to church so YOU will love God more” and “There’s nothing you can do to make God love you less, and there’s nothing you can do to make Him love you more” and “Cancer? (or whatever dire circumstance) Not a problem”

  48. My favorite, How stupid can you be and still breathe!

  49. deborahanne20 says:

    I just discovered Andrew Wommack last week, When listening to part three of a better way to pray, I had tears pouring down my face, I have never laughed so much in my life(I am a dour Englishwoman) I was sorry to see that some think that he is a fraud, and in the same boat as the Benny Hinns, some people say they were involved with his ministry and he was dreadful and out for money. I hope it is not true, because he really does lift my spirits and has given me hope. I also listen a lot to Derick Prince on legacy radio.

    • I am returning to Charis Bible College for a fourth year in a few months. I have had Andrew as a teacher, and I have been around the TV dept of his ministry. Let me assure you Andrew is the real deal. Anyone who thinks he is fraud simply hasn’t spent any time around him.

      • Maggie Jarpey says:

        I talked at length with a copyeditor, now a staff writer, for Andrew at one of his very early conventions where partners shared a lunch with staff, and she told me how Andrew acts with the staff. He’s no phoney. But I think anyone can tell that if they listen to him for a while. He tells stories on himself and exposes his own mistakes to help us avoid them. Not many teachers do that.

  50. I am going by my recall,so if it is not exact forgive me.I heard Andrew say if all you can do is praise the Lord that the rope you are being hung with is new.Then praise Him! Gotta love it!

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